Angie Carlson’s Weblog

It’s Wednesday, and that means we’ll be heading off to the grocery store in a couple hours. Yeah, I’m boring and predictable like that. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s one of the most dreaded parts of my week.

This morning I was searching for some helpful ideas to make our shopping trip more pleasant, but instead made a shocking discovery. Did you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you should “not place a child of any age in a shopping cart”?

Don’t worry though. The AAP offers up some absurd shopping tips:

Before you put your child in a shopping cart, you should think twice about his or her safety. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers the following suggestions to increase your child’s safety while you shop.

Instead of putting your child in a cart while you shop, try one of these safer ideas:

1. Get another adult to come with you to watch your child while you shop.
2. Put your child in a stroller, wagon, or frontpack instead of in a shopping cart.
3. Ask your older child to walk and praise him or her for behaving and staying near you.
4. Leave your child at home with another adult while you shop.
5. Shop online if your store offers shopping on the Internet.

Click here for the movie.

Love Dane, Emerson and Franklin.

My review of Amazon Grocery is up at Business Opportunities Weblog:

What ever happened to good old fashioned retail therapy? With today’s incredible lack of customer service, identification checks, long lines, and hurried customers, it’s no wonder why so many people are turning away from brick and mortar stores. Add a couple of children into the mix, and you’ll wonder why you ever left the house in the first place. Oh, yes, that’s right — you are on your last roll of toilet paper.

So, imagine my delight when I discovered the launch of Amazon Grocery over my morning cup of coffee.

Read more…

ChildSafetyStore: “Never overflow the bath tub again. The Starfish sends an audible alarm when water reaches the base of unit and can prevent accidental overflowing when distracted by phone, tv or other children. Attaches easily to bath side with powerful suction cups…Position your starfish at the desired water level and start filling the bath. The LCD readout will give you the constant water temperature and an alarm will sound when water reaches the base of unit.”

This is such a handy little device. Fortunately, our tub has never overflowed - but it is generally filled too high for my liking. Last night, we placed the starfish on the side of the tub and cleared the dinner table while the bath was filling. The alarm was audible from down the hall, even through the sound of washing dishes, the air conditioner, and two hyper children. The thermometer is also helpful, since Emerson screams that anything warmer than a popsicle is “too hot!”

Purchased from Child Safety Store for $13.99

I pay a bit of a premium to shop at my favorite grocery store. The staff is friendly and consistent — they remember our family, always share a smile, and speak to my children. The checkout lines are short and there is always someone available to help me out to my car. The experience is almost pleasant enough to make me forget I had to chase my son up and down the aisles — “I’m not running away from you, Mom! I’m jumping!”

Though, there are sometimes exceptions to the rule.

Last Wednesday, on our weekly trip to the store, we encountered a new, and quite irritating checker. She announced every single item as she passed it over the scanner, “ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, Haagen Dazs, popsicles…” I buried my head, though I secretly wanted to shout, “We’re having a party!” or “Yeah, well, you know, my husband…”

She didn’t quit, “broccoli, broccoli times two, carrots…” I wanted to set her straight, “SEE we buy HEALTHY stuff too,” but instead, I continued to divert my eyes.

This woman was relentless, “chocolate, chocolate times two, chocolate times 3, chocolate times 4…” Emerson’s eyes grew wide, but words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I silently seethed, “You know, I work HARD to hide my chocolate stash from my son!”

“What’s this!?” she announced with a look of confusion on her face. She adjusted her glasses, flipped the foreign package to it’s side, and began to read the ingredients.

She looked up, scanned the item, and said, “Quorn. Chicken-style patties covered in a crisp golden crumb coating…times two!”

So, you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm when I woke up this morning and realized that, once again, it was grocery day.

Today was no different — an irritating experience…times two.

I am by no means fashionable. All attempts to keep up with the latest styles went out the window with motherhood. I shop on three main principles: 1) It must cover the entirety of the postpartum body; 2) It must be machine washable; and 3) Come in a color that will appropriately disguise spit up, snot, and the like.

So, who am I to poke fun of people who really *are* stylish?

This week, I was getting my hair cut, just minding my own business, when another stylist bent over in front of me. My gasp was audible as two inches of her butt crack was revealed.

I’m sure we’ve all seen more than our fair share of butt crack with the invent of super-ultra-low-low pants. But these pants were special…a small triangle of material was cut from the back of the waistband…revealing even more skin.

I thought perhaps I was imagining this new trend. After all, I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time, thankfully. A quick Google search later, I came across these pants at American Eagle Outfitters. For a mere $48, you can stylishly show off your crack to the world.

And, now, for some Happy Crack!

A Dry (and Well Covered) Crack Is A Happy Crack!
Outfit courtesy of The Crack Team franchise.

Why is it that babies always seem to wake up from their naps at the least convenient times? You know, like moments when you discover your three-year-old trying to clean stray cat poop off of his brand new sandals, using nothing but his bare hands.